Self on a Pedestal

Now that BikerScout's self-portrait contest is closed and there's no way of changing my mind, here's the painting I was originally going to send in. Basically I was playing with the idea of a self-portrait as reflection of oneself: who one is, introspectively speaking, rather than what one looks like. Of course, I proceeded to get cold feet (both about whether this even qualifies as a self-portrait, and the portrayal of myself in this -dubious- light) and started Master of Disaster instead. No regrets.

The people I showed it to found it perhaps a little unsettlingly negative. I think that it's about as honest as it can get, LOL. Without going too deep or revealing too much:

Sculpture: I sometimes feel like an artificial human being, cool to the touch and hollow inside.

Pedestal: There are a number of people who try to put me on a pedestal for what I do. I don't like being on it. Statues on pedestals have much further to fall.

Trombone: It doesn't so much represent what I do as mark my passage from teen to adult, and from being a classical (solo) pianist to group player of more mainstream music, among other things.

Rope fence: Some of my family members make me feel like a museum exhibit. These are too often the same ones who feel that my art is worth anything, who show my pictures to anyone who'll look, and who think that I should try harder to make a name for myself. I hate it. Aside from the fact that my Asian upbringing hinders me from taking pride in anything I do, I am not an artist. I am a scientist and writer who takes pleasure in painting. Also, I don't like to be touched, but that's probably nothing new.

I'll leave it to you to interpret the rest of the picture as you please.

And I solemnly swear that there are no more self-portraits forthcoming. You may breathe freely now.